scattering joy

it is now half-way through my half-term break. I have relaxed and walked, and i feel great. so needed that time away from work. and i love being in london - cheers to you all for the past bunch of days!

now, however, i am stuck - what to do next? Any suggestions of places to go for the rest of the week? Just little day-trips from luton - car or trainable. Car is the more favourable option.

Would love the input, so give away!

current location: our lounge
current mood: very tired
current music: elizabeth town soundtrack

well, amsterdam didn't happen!!!

Did you know that to cross the channel you have to put your car on a train? and it's really expensive? we learned this when we got down to the crossing - whoops. so that didn't fly.

then we drove to Dover - saw the WHITE CLIFFS! - and didn't get on the boat. we decided that it wasn't worth the money to go for so short an amount of time. so, we headed on back and came back to london. good trip, guys!

Once back in the flat in victoria, everyone went to sleep and i went for a walk. got inspired to start writing, so went to a coffee shop and sat down. 1.5 hours later and buzzing with caffeine (i HAVE to stop that!) i came out of the shop with a good story tucked under my arm and underway. so happy.

returned to victoria - brad was here, it was kinda nice out, so we went for a walk to oxford. it started to rain. i took my jumper off. i love lovely spring rains. we walked round for ages and ages, going in to shops and puttering. then we returned home amidst slanting rain. i was dared to run and dive in the grass in green park but declined, as i was wearing one of my favorite tshirts. but i would have... if it was a different top. seriously.

it was a wonderful walk, though. I love the rain, and brad and i had fun. we bonded. question: if you turned the corner and saw a suitcase with your name on it and opened it up to find 25 million pounds, what would be the first thing you'd do? (i answered pay back my mum, then go shopping - but with that much money, maybe shop first.)

now we're back in the flat, drinking wine and eating yummy appies. i love my friends here!!!

so, no amsterdam, but i'm not all too sad. i'm having a wicked time here.

current location: victoria flat
current mood: full and happy
current music: join the queue - oasis

Imagine yourself on a train on near the station with silent copassengers and a thought on the brain...

Almost as soon as I got in to London, a realization hit me: do you need a passport to go to amsterdam? Obvious answer, YES.

After a brief panic-y call to both Joss and Kyla, some texts to London, I had to get off the train and figure out what to do. Me, who had lists galore while packing last night and all day today forgot probably the single most important item! But the thing is, is that it never even occured to me.

Joss and Kyla apparently tore my room apart looking for the elusive passport, so I'm not looking forward to coming back to that!! But kudos to them - I would have been just a wreck if it hadn't been found. Then Joss walked it down to the station and I took the train back to Luton, then returned to London. On the way back to Luton I had to sit on the floor of the train. Rush-hour. Too bad that as I was writing I was staring at some guy's crotch. Which went in my journal, of course. I just don't get how guys can wear tight jeans and not feel uncomfortable. I mean - they're tight.

But back to my blunder. The others (being Moira, Neil, and Craig) decided that they would NOT go on without me, so I got here (in Victoria) to discover a new plan to get to Amsterdam. We are going to DRIVE. Man. Crazy, eh? But it's pretty cool, as I will get to go through France, Belgium and then Holland. Cool, eh?

Updates will follow most likely after the holiday. I can't wait! This trip, although put through a bit of a grind, is going to be awesome. There are museums galore, biking loads, and of course, the infamous red light district. Apparently I must check out the 'banana club'. Nooo, for all of you who think like me, this is not a male strip club. Rather, something else is done with the bananas...

Off to sleep now, as we're all getting up bright and early to catch the non-traffic time!!!

current location: moira's living room
current mood: sleepy but excited
current music: nada - was some guitar going on a while ago.

I have just spent 20 minutes perusing the new gomez website. And I must say... I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CONCERT!!!

It's on a Thursday, which will suck b/c I'll get there late, but my plan is to leave school at 3, train in to London, and wait in line. I need to be up front.

Ack. So good. I wish Ness were here!! But I hope to have convinced at least 3 friends to come with me (who will hopefully be as crazy as I will be and not mind my terrible singing).

The band posted an email that a 10 year old sent them - he loves Gomez, went to their concert... can play thier songs... I'm 24 and can barely manage to strum my favorite song!!

Listening to more Gomez right now - I think I'll be hearing a lot of them in the next month. Did I tell you I am excited? Looking forward to it? Both of those are understatements, but I can't think of what else to say.

I wish I could play their songs well.

current location: my room
current mood: very jittery
current music: rhythm and blues alibi - gomez.

I got the best surprise this morning. On the weekend I received a package slip, went down this morning, and picked up a wrapped box of 4 jell-o flavours!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH CHRIS!!!

I'm so happy that someone actually sent me jell-o.. Honestly, I didn't think it would happen. A mere pipe dream. For those of you who were thinking about it... send more! I love it.

Kyla was in the car with me and we opened the paper as I drove. Both of us made the same comments - I wonder what colours I got? Note the description here: colour, not flavour. Awesome, eh, that we grew up where a colour is associated with taste. Although, blue raspberry... I still have a hard time figuring that one out.

That definitely set the good mood as I went in to work this morning. Not to mention I have bought the new Gomez album [www.gomeztheband.com] and have been listening to it all day. Can't wait til June 9th. So this is a double-happiness day. And now I am cleaning my room.

Kyla's webspace is cool in that at the bottom of each entry there are things she needs to fill out. So I am, from now on, going to copy it. It's the best form of flattery, immitation is.

current location: my room
current mood: elated
current music: say goodbye, dave matthews

I just had one of those moments. One of the times when I have an idea, start to do it, then blank as to why. I just pulled up an internet page and logged in to this account, and now I am staring blankly at the screen wondering why... what thought made me do this? I had a reason, I know I did, and yet - nothing.

Ah, yes. I remember now. Are you ready for more random ramblings from your most favorite scatter-brained (but maybe endearing?) vancouverite?

I was thinking about people, and the relationships among friends. Why is it that we are friends with each other? (that is a rhetorical question, by the way) Why is it that we can be so different and yet have enough to talk to each other about things? And why is it that even when a friend says something that thouroughly pisses you off, you stand by and try to help them? (again, more rhetorical questions)

I was just bombarded with thoughts from a friend that basically, for I'm not sure how many minutes, I was being painted as 'the bad guy'. Despite wanting to defend my honour, I sat still and listened until the barrage was over, and then, as calmly (and maybe not so calmly) as I could, explained why all of this was a fabrication of my friend's mind. Of course I'm not saying that I am innocent - I am far from that - but I certainly am not the mean, cold, bitchy person that I was being described as. And rather than shout, get mad, click my phone shut or whatever, I waited it out and then tried to help my friend through this.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Quite all right if you stop reading here.

What eventually happened is we talked it out, then chatted for a while, revisited the topic in a more calm way, then chatted again... and hung up with everything fine. Is it because my friend just needed to get it out of his system? Is it because he felt like making me the bad guy would make him feel better? I'm not sure. But I know that despite this we are still friends. In my mind, anyway. He wants me to share my life with him, but I have made it perfectly clear that I don't really talk to any of my friends on a regular basis, so this is no personal thing against him. You guys can vouch for that - I'm rubbish at keeping in touch with people and I don't email very often. That's what the blog is for!!!

Again I seem to have lost my train of thought. I think I was meant to have a bigger brain - to hold in all those thoughts that float around. My filing cabinet is not big enough!!

What it all boils down to, I think, is that even though friends can be mad at each other and say things that could potentially hurt the other, there is a reason why they are friends in the first place. And when they listen to each other, sometimes they learn things. I hope.

On a side note, not that I had a main one to begin with, I think being on my own so much this year has made me a bit loopy. But that's ok, right?... Just another character quirk?

I think tiffs with friends are sometimes not a bad thing. They help us get over sometimes more awkward times, or help us sort things out that we couldn't do on our own. Just a warning, though: if you're planning on having one with me, when I get worked up about something I am brutally honest and can be a bit of a bitch. Not that I want to have disagreements with any of my friends.

Well! That has been an interesting rant. I'm sure it was the most enthralling part of your day, reading about what goes on in my mind. Maybe I'd make a good character sketch, like I do to others when I travel. Anyway, I'll stop this now. That's enough crazy for one day.

[I'm annoyed that I couldn't get out what I had intended on. Oh well]

We all know the extent of my imagination, right? Well, here is a hint for all of you who get a little carried away with scary things as I do:

Do not read 30 gothic descriptive stories right before you go to bed! I lay awake for a very long time imagining the eeriest people in the strangest settings doing very wierd things to other people. I won't get graphic here, because perhaps you are trying to go to sleep too. I'll just say that the image of heads and bodies was very prevalent in my thoughts. Thanks, 8e, you've really given me a pack of fun bedtime stories!

To you all who laugh at me when I say I can't watch or read scary things, this is a prime example of why.

(I did eventually get to sleep - and woke up safe and sound)

there are times in your life when things since burried surface again. the thought that you have everything under control, that things are good don't matter all of a sudden. you're gripped with these thoughts, and they won't leave you alone.

sometimes I want to shout down (or up?) to my brain to be quiet and leave me alone. but it doesn't work that way. wish it did. i have a feeling, though, that all the thoughts we have laying just beneath the surface will one day come out, in one way or another. it may be in writing, or painting (not by me!), or music, or a rant at someone...

i guess that's what this is - a rant of sorts, as i'm not sure what i'm talking about, so therefore am going to curl up and try to sleep.

When I found out that Dave Matthews was playing a solo accoustic show in England I just had to go. Got my friends in London to come with, and yesterday we trucked out to Birmingham (apparently the UK's second largest city) for the show!

For you Vancouverites, the venue was sort of the size of the Commodore, but rough around the edges - not as swanky, but about the same size. Can you imagine being 10 feet (approx 4-5 people away) from the stage? Close enough to see the many beads of sweat on Dave's face, head, arms, neck...

Although I have seen DMB twice before, this show was something entirely different. This guy is FUNNY. He walked out, and I thought, 'he's totally off his rocker.' Then he opens his mouth, and does't stop for 2 hours! Between songs he told us all about how his wife says that sweating profusely is good for the health, he told us about an acid trip where he thought he was a tree... he sounded very much like bill cosby a few times - so not only does he play the guitar and sing like no one else, he can entertain a crowd without the music too.

I will end the description of the concert with this: When Dave Matthews sings then tips his head back, throws his mouth open wide and lets out a chilling cry, the crowd goes wild. He did this many times.

So happy to have gone. Plus, got to hang out in Birmingham for a night out on the town! Double bonus.

This week has been hell. Loads and loads of lectures and noise and general mis-behaviour.

On my way home, I noticed something on my windshield, and thought, "uh oh, I have a ticket for something."

But no! It's a note, scribbled on a piece of torn-out paper. "Hey Miss Drive Carefully. From Zorro" (a different Zorro this time!)

I just thought that was a nice gesture, and it made me smile, so I thought I would pass it along. Even though my days are full of raising my voice and being 'mean', there are still some things that make it worth it.

Friday tomorrow. Awesome.