Do you ever have so much on your mind, it almost seems like it’s not there? You live with it in a synergetic (is that the right word?) way as you go on with life… only to have the ‘stuff’ – for lack of a better word – surface every once in a while. And when it does, all it does is annoy you / get in the way of your daily routine / turn your stomach into teeny tiny knots. I like it when it just rests under the surface and doesn’t bother me.

Today (lately, really) the stuff has not been nice to me and has been bubbling up from time to time.
Bubble – you have a dog at home
Bubble – you still don’t have a contract with your school
Bubble – you still don’t have a flight home
Bubble – the flights are too expensive
Bubble – something needs to be done about your dog
Bubble – what are you doing with your life? (that’s a big one)
Bubble – are you being silly about the school contract thing? Are you whining too much? Being ungrateful, not realizing that you’re being paid a good salary?
Bubble – things are going well with the boy but how long will you stay in England for?
Bubble – how long can the dog stay with mum before she flat-out refuses to have him anymore?

One of these days one or more of these bubbles with pop and I will have to deal with them. I know I should just live life and see how things go, but when it comes to people and animals being affected by my decisions, I feel that I need to be responsible about what I do.

Carpe Diem, right?

But I can’t. When these bubbles come up they don’t like going away. I suppose I’ll have to have wicked amounts of fun this Canada Day weekend to placate them not to rise.

Just got back from an open mic night in Luton. My small taste of home - all my friends, good music, happy atmosphere. Most of those bubbles were not present.

current location: room
current music: echoes of guitars and voices
current mood: very very tired